Sunday, May 30, 2010

I Gotted Noo Fishies

I iz so eggsited cause I did gets noo fishy wishies today. I wuz not sure ma humanz would gets me more fishies since we iz still talkin about moovin out of da house. But I finks i wore dem down by goin over n lookin in da empty pond wif ma big round eyes.

WOW dems a lot of fishies. I only eber hads 3 fishies afore. Now I haz a whole skool.

We had to puts dem in da pond in der baggy so dey would akklumates to da water temperatures afore releasing dem fur reals.

I did snoopervise while human1 did sets dem free in our pond. Look at dem go!

I promise not to nom dem fishies. Honest.

Wot dis BIG fishy doin in der wif ma lil gold fishies? Won't dat killer whale eats dem all up? N where iz ma sea monster? Hims should be here to meeting da noo fishies.

Fanks you beary much for ma noo fishy wishies. Now go gets ma sea monster will ya!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Paw Bump Fur Ya

Dis da classic Paw Bump wif stretched out paw fur da bumpin. But der are utter forms like the lazy mancats top of da paw Paw Bump. Like dis...

Ma pal rumblepurr doz do a PAWSUM high akshun paw bump. N dat Brewskie Butt doz a cool rollover paw bump. Sparkle doz a bit of a claw swipe paw bump. Why not shows us ur paw bumps?

Friday, May 28, 2010

Chasing Squirrels n Meeting Humanz

I gotted a visitor today. It wuz ma twitter pal @kittehboi's human. Herz comed just to visit wif me  (& mehbe Human2 a little bit too).

When herz comed up da walk we were outside playin and human2 said Boris u haz a visitor and I did run rite over to Leslie to sez hello.

I did ma bestest to show off for ma visitor (who can attest dat I iz indeedy a big ole moose kitteh).

While we were outsides I did spots a squirrel in ma back yard! I crouched down and twitched ma tail likes crazy den i made ma moove. I runned down da yard and chased dat squirrel rite up a tree! He hung over a branch and made squirrel yellin noises at me. So I looked up at he and made kitteh chirpy noises back at he. kkkkch kkkch kkkch.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Today iz Towel Day

Today iz International Towel Day. May 25th iz da day when fans decided to celebrate dat great author Douglas Adams wot writed da book The Hitchhikers Guide to da Galaxy. Iffen u haz not readed it u should it fun. In case u one of dem peoples wot haz to wait fur da moovie well The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy haz been madeded into a films alreddy.

 A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy via

Der a few fings u gonna needs to celebrates Internashunals Towel Day. First u needs a towel! Ma pals over at haz sum great towel opshuns likes dis 42 Utility Towel or Don't Panic Towel


And of course dey haz a great t-shirt...Don't Panic Carry a Towel tee...

So gets da book and grab a towel and spend today in anutter galaxy! As dem dolphins long and fanks fur all da fishies!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Gotted 2 Mails Yesterday

I did gets two big envelopes in da mails yesterday and both were clearly addressed to me. I not gonna lets ma humanz hab either one even tho dey tellz me dez iz human fings. I sez dey iz ma fings!

First I gotted a way cool poster of dat sexy Bettie Page and it do be made of cloth.

See dat sweet note dat @geekgirldiva did sends me? *Purrs* Fanks u for da fun contesty!

I had to gib it a real close inspekshun. Dat iz one sexy lady...MEOW. I doz believe dat dis will look purrty gud in ma Man Cat Cave.

O yay...i likes dis poster.

Da utter package did hab a booky in it wif a PAWSUM title: Cat's Claw.  It iz writed by Amber Benson wot did play Tara on da Buffy da Vampire Slayer TV show...see? How cool iz dat?

I did fink I needed to shows off ma claws too since da book iz called Cat's Claw...MOL

I finks we gonna lub dis book. Human2 iz gonna read it to me iffen i eber lets go of it.

Dunt try to takes ma booky away from me!

Monday, May 10, 2010

How to Give a Cat a Pill

How to Give a Cat a Pill
This is very appropriate wif Abby being sicky...
Dis iz from a viral email so I dun't nose who to credit...sawry whoever u iz.

1.  Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cats mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.  As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.


2.  Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3.  Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4.  Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.  Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5.  Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse in from the garden.

6.  Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat.  Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.  Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7.  Retrieve cat from curtain rail.

Get another pill from foil wrap.  Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.  Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8.  Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw

9.  Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away.  Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.  Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed.
Get another pill.  Open another beer.  Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.  Force mouth open with dessert spoon.  Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11.  Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.  Drink beer.  Fetch bottle of scotch.  Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.  Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect.  Toss back another shot.  Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12.  Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road.  Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take last pill from foil wrap.

13.  Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table.  Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak.  Be rough about it.  Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14.  Consume remainder of scotch.  Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room.  Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.  Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15.  Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1.  Wrap it in bacon.

2.  Toss it in the air.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Ma Artsy Fartsy Face on

Ma silly snoot iz on agin. I can no seems to win da #cutepic fur da day but I did gets an honorable mentions.

You can see da real winners over on der webby page.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Abby iz Abscessed

Yesterdays my sisfur Abby did hab to go to da V-E-T. Herz just not acting like herz self lately so da humanz made a disappointment fur her n tooked her in right aways.

Gud fing to when da nurse wuz takin her temperatures herz seed a sore on her backside.

Da doctor sez it wuz an abscess and did lance it right away. Human2 could hears dat poor Abby crying and crying.

Da doctor wanted to make sure dat da sore wuz not cause by diabetes so dey tooked sum of Abby's bloods and did tests on it. Herz not haz problems wif da sugars fank gudness, but herz thyroid is outta whack so herz haz two pills herz haz ta takes now.

We not gonna shows u da hole in herz tail cause it really gross, but will let u nose it az big az a finger nail and deep too. (Dr sez 3 to 4 teaspoons of pus n yuck comed out when herz lanced it...ewwwww....poor Abbles.)

Herz goes back to da V-E-T in 3 weeks for more blood werks n hopefully dat hole will be healed over too.

So while der iz many utter kittehs wot needs ur pwayers plz keeps Abby in ur hearts too...fanks.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Happy Cinco De Meow-O

Happy 5th of May! Tomorrow is ma pal @KittehBoi's sisfur Chilipeppers 13th birfaday so we iz habbing a pawty on Twitter right now. Come join us!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Walter the Farting Dog Book for TOOT Tuesday

Human2 broughted home dis book about a stinky doggy named Walter. I lub ma stink ratsie toy so it not a stretch to finks i would likes a stinky doggy too!

Da book is called Walter the Farting Dog by William Kotzwinkle, Glenn Murray, and illustrated by Elizabeth Gundy. It haz a warning in da front cover dat says, "Warning: This Book May cause Flatulence." MOL silliness.

Da book is purrfect fur us az it iz dedicated to EVERYBUDDY who's ever felt misjudged or misunderstood (who hasn't?).

So let's check dis booky out shall we....

Da story is about Betty and Billy who adopts Walter from da pound (as we all know rescuing a dog is much more rewarding den buying one -- Dont Shop ADOPT!)

Unfortunately, dis sweet, wunnerful pup dog has a bit of a gas problem (okai dat iz an understatment). In fact it iz so bad dat da kid's dad says Walter haz to go back to da pound cause of da gases & smells! Can u belives dat!? Back to da pound for dat!? I could not believes ma ears dat Walter would have to go back just acause of himz habbin gases. *hed shakes*

How in da world will Walter ever gets out of going back? Wot does a stinky dog gotta do to keeps he forever home?

You iz gonna haz to reads it ur self to finds out (but I will tells u he haz many utter adventures so der iz a happy ending affer all).

You will laughs and you will howl at dis gaseous pup named Walter. TOOT!

Check out all he adventures. You will learn to love dis stinky doggy. Dunt be a skeered to hab ur humanz read to u. Pets likes to be read to at least all us kittehs here do.

Walter the Farting Dog Goes on a Cruise

Rough Weather Ahead for Walter the Farting Dog

Walter the Farting Dog Farts Again

Walter the Farting Dog and the Windy Day

Walter The Farting Dog 8" PlushWalter the Farting Dog: Banned from the Beach 

Heck der iz even a cute gas passing Walter the Farting Dog plush toy dat any human will gets a kick out of to TOOT --- oops to boot.

Happy TOOT Tuesday!

PS...fanks to for sharing Walter the Farting Dog wif us last Toot Tuesday. MOL